What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
