...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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