One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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