How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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