she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
