You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
