I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
