it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
wow bdsm is so cute
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
