its not stalking. its research.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
