i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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