Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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