I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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