Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
