school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
