never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
MIDGETS
????
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Randomize
