He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
