Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's rum buckets o'clock
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
