Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
