I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
