that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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