do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
