you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
