And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
