Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
