I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
