I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
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