That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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