just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
