So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
