I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
