By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
