i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
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