my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize