these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
