I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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