so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
