Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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