i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
