Do you still have your period?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
