you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
