I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
