do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
