CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
