Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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