i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
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