I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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