Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
