when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
