I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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