I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize