we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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