I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
