i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
