Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
