i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize