can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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