using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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