My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
